What if we saw ourselves as we see them?

What if we always saw ourselves for our real worth? How would that change us?

Becoming a parent is an eye opening milestone in life. Even when it is something you always imagined and been excited for one day. Even with all sorts of tending children in "preparation" for it, it will still have its way of showing you, that just like everyone else in the world, you have a lot to learn.

I always wanted to be a mother. From the time I was very small I knew I would love it. I prepared for this part of my life early on. So much experience in my nanny business brought me to feel more and more comfortable with the future task. 

Becoming an actual Mother shook up my idea of being as prepared as I thought. Yes, in some ways of "having A LOT to learn."  But it shook me up in mostly good ways. I loved and adored kids I had nannied but having my own little human was another level of admiration. Nothing can ever compare to my connection to her. You can imagine it all day, but its better than I ever could have imagined. I never knew my heart was capable of expanding so much.  It is a physical expansion of room for love more than yourself unlike anything you experience before. The love I have for her is beyond anything Ive ever experienced. It honestly makes me so happy.

This leads me to the title of this post: "What If We Saw Ourselves As We See Them?" I thought my daughter was perfect when I saw her little skeleton on the ultrasound. Her heart beat steadily and she held her hands up by her face and I was in 'Awe.'  When I felt her kick me from the inside of my belly I knew I carried a miracle. I thought she was just perfect the moment they placed her on my chest for the first time, after my long struggle to bring her into this world had been finished. 
Nothing short of PERFECT. 

Later when we brought her home, we shared a special moment. We locked eyes as I cried with Postpartum Depression and told her I'm sorry for being sad. She reached up,  grasped my pinky with one hand, and gently caressed my cheek with her other as if to say, "Mama, its alright, you are doing the best you can and I love you for it." I literally felt her love and acceptance of me. Already, this tiny new little person was teaching me things I needed to know. She told me in a single stare that I am enough. 

Those times and every other second between, I genuinely thought she is TOO perfect! How did I deserve such a blessing? But in a very real sense, I didn't just think she's perfect, she IS perfect. Made of infinite eternal worth and delivered straight from God. Thats the reality of our sweet little ones we bring into the world. They are truly sent to us from Heaven to fulfill our family unit, bring us joy, teach us lessons, refine us into better people, and to share this life with us. But let us ponder about all those moments we reflect on just how much we love them and just how special they are. And when we reflect on those thoughts we have, they arent so much an opinion as they are the actual truth and fact, right? We know deep within us, they are made of infinite value and all good/heavenly things. We stare at them sleeping peacefully and we think it as a matter-of-fact like we know with all our hearts how amazing and capable they are. What would we think if we were to see ourselves asleep peacefully? Would we be as gentle with ourselves in our thoughts? 

If we, as parents, were to ever see someone harm our children or tell them the opposite of that above, then we would be upset as protective parents, quickly defending our child, and making sure our child knew that those mean things said to them are not true. Looking in their eyes saying something like this, "Listen to me... you know those hurtful things they said aren't true right? You know that you are amazing and smart and beautiful right? I love you so much!"  < That's us, trying to build up our child from what damage was starting to form in their mind after being told they are something other than "valued." We observe as parents when we see someone bully our child... a process starts taking place... the child's wheels turning in their little heads, doubting their individual worth with hurt feelings. Its our job to make sure they know what not to internalize. Its our job to observe them and make them feel safe and loved. Its our job to help them to keep thinking good thoughts but what about us? Thought patterns can be life altering for better or worse, but who is reminding us of our worth whenever we doubt?

If this process is so natural for us to understand as parents, why is it so hard for us to understand or think about as adults? Possibly the world, over time, has turned our knowledge of our individual worth into "The Worlds Way Of Being Important."  Perhaps our mistakes or our weak moments are all we seem to think about and pick apart in our minds. The things we said or did wrong. The car we don't have. The fancy clothes we just can't afford. The diet that isn't working. The amount of followers or likes we get on social media. What our fellow associates success is that we compare ourselves to. We could ponder this "Keeping Up With The Jones'" mentality and keep striving for the 'worldly ideal'. But doing so will only be an illusion in the desert. We will get to that "thing" or buy that "outfit" or hit that "perfect weight" and still find it to be an impossible satisfaction. The illusion that: "If I had this or that, I'd be happy," will allude us continuously. Something else will always come up that tells us we need to have it to be better. Even if you have all the good looks and material in the world... looks fade, fans disappear, clothes go out of style and so on. Materialistic things, though they can make us feel good to some extent and though they are fun things to have, they do not sustain us nor keep us happy for very long. 

This is a real element of our 'world' - Distraction. This is why the single most important thing we need to live by and remember at all times is our individual worth. Our worth is much greater than this universe. Yet all contained in one miraculous spirit and physical body. Here are the 3 things we must always envision in our journey...

(1.) Who We Are... 

we are individual sons and daughters from a loving Heavenly Father & Heavenly Mother. Yes, God is our literal creator of our spirits. We are made in his image. He knows us and loves us beyond our understanding. 

(2.) Why Are We Here... 

we were blessed with one of the most sacred and important gifts of all, free agency. We were given the free agency to choose good or evil from the very beginning of our existence. Our agency to come to earth and gain a physical body made it possible for us to be here and every choice here has had its consequences, but we have the power to choose choices that will result in greater or lesser joy. That free agency is a great power and trust that God has in us. Ultimately that means we are highly 'Capable' of our fullest and best potential. We are stronger than we think. Our purpose is greater than we can fully understand here on earth. 

(3.) Where Are We Going...

We were created to fulfill our individual purposes, ultimately fulfilling God's greatest purposes; Eternal Happiness for his children. That means he is full of love and he will fight for us to make it. He will do everything in his power (except, he will NEVER affect agency) but he will do everything he can to help us make it. He will never give up on us, not even when we pass into the spirit world. His plan is a perfect plan that allows everyone to start where they are. He allows everyone their own journey because he trusts we will make good decisions. Where we are going is far greater than what we have known here. His purpose for us is not temporary happiness but ETERNAL. That means, he knows best what will bring us lasting happiness in this life and the life to come. 

Every time I find myself staring at my daughter I think these 3 things about her... (Who is she? Why is she here? Where is she going?) The knowledge I have that she is from Heaven makes me feel so lucky and want to do all I can to teach her these 3 most important truths to focus on. It also comes into my mind when I find I am comparing myself to others. I ask myself, "Who Am I? Why Am I Here? Where Am I Going?" It all comes back into focus for me. The goal is ETERNAL JOY! Worldly things can never bring this. This is because the material things like our home, money, and possessions of every kind, are simply "on loan." We are borrowing them until our time is up. They do not fully BELONG to us and never will. We are simply using them while we are here. We will have no need for them when we leave this life. 

Eternal Joy -- comes from one source only... our Creator. It's His plan we are living out. Some people may think that God is not their source of joy. Perhaps they don't feel believing in Him does much for them. That may seem true for them, in their own understanding, but what they do not understand is this... what God wants for us and what we want for us is not different. 

We all want ultimate happiness, right? (we may have different ideas of what brings us joy but that doesn't matter) 

-Remember these scriptures:
1-"My work and my glory are to bring to pass immortality and eternal life of man." So those 3 life questions above (Who, Why, Where) go together with this scripture. His whole plan for us from beginning to end is to become perfected (through the Savior) and receive the gift of Eternal Life. 

2- "Men are, that they might have JOY!" Because we 'ARE'... we must have JOY! We were created to have it. It was intended for us. It was part of God's design that we are to be HAPPY. Everything on the natural Earth was created to brighten our lives. Every plant and animal, as well as all the stars and the setting sun over the ocean were all created for our joy. That Joy can only be felt when we choose to appreciate it. 

Ultimate Happiness is what we want -- God wants the exact same thing for us but even greater. He wants for us to have Ultimate Happiness that last Eternally. The least we could do is trust him because we cannot see everything that He can in our journey. He has the whole picture before him. 

This list of what we are not or what we do not have could go on forever, but the moral here is, "How can we see ourselves the way we see these little ones?" We can and we should see our own worth, just as "important" and "perfect" as we see our innocent little baby's worth. Just as we love our children, God loves us that much x10. He loves us perfectly because He is perfect and capable of doing so. If he can love us like that, even with all of our imperfections and mistakes along the way, there is much to be said of that example. We don't have to be innocent babies to have infinite value. Losing innocence is not to say we decrease in value. At every age, we are still His precious children. We need to be careful not to be our own "Bully." Even in the subtle ways we critique ourselves daily. We need to remember to see our worth as God sees it. We must love ourselves as He wants us to. Would we have pride enough to tell God that His greatest creations are flawed in value? What do we think we are doing when we look into the mirror and tell ourselves ugly things or only focus on the distraction from our spirits worth? God doesn't make mistakes. When we love ourselves, we ultimately shine the brightest and therein lies true power to achieve Eternal Happiness. 

No matter what your struggles or circumstances may be, Please remember to ponder these things instead, if ever you feel like criticizing yourself. Don't be hard on yourself... remember just how valuable you always were and always will be

Much love, 

XO Ash