M O R E A B O U T M E + M Y B A C K G R O U N D
"In A Nutshell"
Hello, Im Ashley, Collin's wifey, Kyla's mama, convert to the LDS Church, returned missionary of Argentina, MDD Survivor, OCD organizer, Outdoor Enthusiast, Dancer, Gym Junkie, class-clown, comedian, daughter, aunt, sister, friend -- I have many titles that ring true to me but most people know me just as Ash.
I am British, Scandinavian, Middle Eastern, & Asian.
From: {UK, Ireland, France}{Norway}{Austria, Czech, Ukraine, Hungary}{Greece, Turkey, Syria}
I like to believe I am a good person with a good heart. I honestly just want to focus on and spread good. I am extremely imperfect. I battle anxiety but 8 out of 10 days I win. I'm working on "me" every day. I've faced mountains of really personal trails from the time I was born. I used to not feel that my trauma or experiences were ever a "blessing" but things change as you grow up. I have seen how they make me more kind to others. I have seen them humble me. I have seen how they give me the ability to feel empathy. I feel like God really must have trusted me to face everything I have had to. Because I know He loves me and ultimately can make me greater than I can without Him. I think he knew I would do my best, in time, to take my challenges, and transform them into positive changes for myself and for people around me that I could connect to. I know I was sent here to make some kind of difference in peoples lives and that is my ultimate goal. All of us have something we are meant to do for others. I seek to bring about good through my experiences and my talents Ive been given, make them laugh & make them think.
-- Because I have struggled, I know I am better than no one, So I will never portray my life to be flawless while I wear the latest name brand fashion or travel to tropical places each week with no job required. haha (that would be nice though.) But that is not what I am wanting to share with people. I want to share the message, that I hope you never feel alone, that ANY life can be lived well, That anyone can discover Joy in the ordinary, That Faith can move mountains, That Travel doesn't have to cost a fortune, That anyone can find their Happily Ever After, and that life is hard, but it is Oh, so good too!
COMING TO THE UNITED STATES:
My life has always seemed like an actual movie to me. A lot has been packed into my experience. Immigration is an important part of my life. My DNA & family history is important to me and mine is unique in the way it played out. My great-great grandparents immigrated here to the U.S. in 1912 from the Czech Republic & Austria. My Grandfather came to the United States alone to work very hard to establish an income & a home for his wife/children to also make their way over to become legal citizens of this great country of freedom, America. He worked hard every day for two years. Finally, my Grandmother & their children were destined to set out on the Titanic to New York. The story we have had passed down goes -- That they lost their place in line by one of the little children running off. We have one other account that says they actually boarded the ship, then had to go looking for that littlest boy. Luckily, they ended up taking the Carpathian instead; the ship which came to rescue survivors of the Titanic. I thank heaven for that little miracle because I wouldn't be here today if they had got on the Titanic, as they were in the 3rd class. My Grandfather went to meet them at the dock when he had become devoted by the news that Titanic had sank. He thought his whole family had perished until they later showed up at their home in Ohio. I have always had a fascination with the story of Titanic for that little part of history my lineage was involved in.
From that time on, my family settled in Ohio, Michigan and California. My great grandparents settled in Thousand Oaks and my grandmother settled in Simi Valley, CA.
CALIFORNIA:
I was born and raised for the first part of my life not far from Malibu in Simi Valley, California. Those days were full of making memories with my family, going to Six Flags and Disneyland. We were also always at the beach; Malibu and Zuma mostly. As my mother; Victoria, was a young single mother, we faced a lot of hardships that were extremely difficult. My mother battled with many things in that time frame. The "hippie" era of Rock n' Roll and many children born out of wedlock. Addictions, no money, no father figure in the picture herself, as well as no father in my life and sometimes no place for us to lay down at night. I never knew my father and he was never found. That was a void in my life I always longed to fill. (I am still in the long search of my father today.) My mom moved us to Utah for a fresh start for the latter chapter of my life. Utah made me fall in love with the beautiful outdoors and the endless mountains and countryside. Utah is also where I came know God and start to build a relationship with him over time. California is where I began. Thank heavens for that. Its still a huge part of me. and Utah became a the new part of me which is a pretty great few chapters so far.
MOVING TO UTAH:
We moved to a tiny small town that gave me some of my characteristics I still carry with me today. Especially the country part of me that enjoys the simple things in life. My mother unexpectedly had my little sister Jocelyn and she became my greatest joy and little sidekick. We were "The 3 Musketeers," Mom used to say.
MOM MARRIED:
Later my mother got married for the first time to a man named Robert and thats when our '3 musketeers' became a really large family. My mother became the step-mother to 5 new girls, making 7 girls total. Those were some wild but also great times for us. I loved having that many sisters to spend time with. Even when we got sick of each other at times, I wouldn't have traded those years for anything. We were taught how to ride, taught how to fish, then clean and cook our own catch on the fire. We were taught how to properly make and shoot guns, how to make old fashioned bullets, how to carve things out of wood, how to chop and stack wood, how to play sports, how to bottle and can food, how to work hard and wake up early to do chores or the gardening. I learned so much in those years and looked up to my sisters a lot. The small town friends I made there, and all the times around camp fires or swimming in the river are times i'll never forget. Still love my dear friends from there very much. Those were good days.
MOVE TO SOUTHERN UTAH:
Unfortunately, they decided to go separate ways and it was really hard for us to say goodbye to our large family. Divorce can really shake up a teenagers world. It was rough not having those sisters around anymore. We moved to a bigger place in Southern Utah which was a huge blessing for the next chapters of our life and the things that took place. It was a challenge having our family break apart, then to go to a whole new school where girls were not the most kind. I learned quickly that this was a very different place but that somehow I was going to have to adjust. There were many trials that shaped our future from that time on, but we met many wonderful people too and went on many adventures. The best part about Southern Utah besides the endless outdoors was the fact that our family joined us in moving up here. We were able to move my grand-mother up here to care for her before she was called home to the Lord. Our cousins were once again, all together.
MY SPIRITUAL CONVERSION:
I became truly converted to the the LDS Church after taking missionary discussions at the age of 20 with a few of my friends at that time. Thanks to the person I had been recently dating at that time, I was encouraged in my new spiritual path I was progressing in. His family completely took me in. They gave me the great opportunity to be their live-in nanny. Those kids blessed my life so greatly that I owe much of what I've become now, and what i've learned about the motherhood I wanted to fulfill, while I was there. Those kids made me realize just how much I wanted to be a mother. They continued to lead by examples of what the gospel of Jesus Christ is all about. This family believed in me. They encouraged me even though I didn't come from the best of circumstances. They made me feel like I was good and had a lot to achieve. I saw the peace within their family, and in the ways they taught their children, that I knew in my heart I wanted more than anything else. They taught their children about the purpose of life and that they are of infinite worth. They found joy in just about everything and made every experience, a teaching experience for their kids. When the siblings would argue over something little they had to hug each other and say "you're the best!" That was hilarious watching two little kids mumble the other is "the best" even when they were frustrated haha. but what it taught them was positivity. It taught them that they are family and thats the most important thing of all. I can't sum up enough, how much I learned from this family. Their close relationship and their care for me inspired me for my future. For the first time in many years, I felt like I again had a family and warm place to call 'home.' while my mother was struggling at that time.
That chapter really planted things in my heart. It led me to my next chapter, when I decided at 21 to accept the call to serve a full-time LDS Mission, to serve the people in Buenos Aires North and also Ushuaia, Tierra Del Fuego, Argentina. That was the best 20 months for my life! I will never forget it.
RETURNING FROM MY MISSION:
After returning home from my mission, I had become a newer, older, wiser version of myself. But coming home had its struggles. I was no longer in the mission field. Now I was supposed to just come home and try to fit in. -- (If you have ever known or spoken to an LDS Missionary shortly after returning home, you might understand what I am saying here.) I struggled fitting back into life. I didn't want to HAVE to. I wanted to go back to what I left or hurry and get married just so I had a companion again and didn't have to worry about dating. Just as anyone who leaves "their nets behind" to serve in some significant way for an extended period of time... you come home a brand new person, but so many others either stay the same or go off on their own different paths while you are away, and now you cannot relate to them much. All I wanted to do was WALK! (Missionaries do a lot of walking.) I also wanted to serve people. Anyone that I saw, I wanted to talk to about Jesus Christ. -- Not your average conversation every person wants to have with a stranger right? weirdo! haha but As if that wasn't enough, I missed the culture of Argentina. It felt so foreign being home. I struggled a lot with dating and finding friends that were on the same level of thinking that I was. I felt so lonely again. I tried to stay busy and do what my friends were doing but that never brought me true happiness. It wasn't until I met my husband that those struggles seemed to fade away fast. My mother also ended up finding the man she loves around that time and she was married in the St. George Temple 1 year after me! Ive never seen my mother so happy! That was a blessing from my mission. I prayed that my mom would find someone that she could be happy with for the rest of her life. My step-dad is a wonderful man and exactly who we needed to be our dad. His 5 kids/spouses and kids, and my mom having us 2 girls, again, makes 7 total. (3 boys, 4 girls) I couldn't love my step siblings more. They are all wonderful people and all so different in their own ways.
MY HUSBAND:
I met my husband; Collin Dalley through a wide circle of friends. I always knew OF him, but never really got to know who exactly he was. (boy was I missing out ;) The best guy i've ever had the pleasure to know and be able to love and be loved by. He is a truly amazing man. With a very patient and caring heart. A good character that he was born with and it has sustained him through the years to make the most important decisions of his life. It had not even been a full year of being home from my mission in Argentina yet. I was planning a trip to Greece when Collin decided to interrupt that idea. that first date was all it took. The timing for us was perfect. We were on the same journey and wanted the same things, at the same time. Best thing that ever happened to me. Almost too good to even be true, I found the guy that had everything I'd been searching for and everything I needed but didn't even know it yet. And when you date as many people as I have... it wears on your heart, but at least you have FINALLY narrowed down to all the things you know you want and know you don't want! ;) We were married June 19th 2013, had a reception that August and were sealed later in the St. George Temple July 31st 2015, where we made sacred covenants with Father in Heaven to be the best we can be for each other, for time and all eternity. I'll never forget that day. I'll remember every word that was spoken, how my husband looked at me with the most sincere heart and exactly how I felt like, finally, I was home... with the only man I want to spend forever with.
LATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT:
now... haha all true fairy tales have their share of trials... (luckily I have the best guy to weather them with is all.) through all the ups and downs marriages can face of job changes and finances, newly-wed misunderstandings and make-ups, travels, and all the moments of amazing love, pure joy and adventure, to the day we both were completely changed forever; June 2, 2016.
Our daughter and first born Kyla Marie was born. Talk about the best feeling in the world - holding our masterpiece for the very first time. Becoming her mother has been a dream come true and better than I imagined. I found my greatest calling in life being a mother. I have so much love to give. I will make sure my kids know I love them without a doubt. I have so much desire to help children in general, while in their youth, to feel important and cared about as an individual so they can grow up with confidence and do good in the world. My daughter has made my life so full. I never knew my heart could explode with love like this until her. She is our masterpiece and greatest accomplishment.
FUTURE PLANS:
My husband is currently excelling in his own talents and success, and I am a proud wife happy to support him. First and foremost I am and always will be a mother and wife and on the side from that, I love Family History/Genealogy, journalism, photography, travel, fitness, massage therapy and I am currently working on my project of writing children books.
Together my husband and I have had a lot of work and life experiences that have prepared us in unique ways. They have given us a wide variety of things to have greater understanding of others. We somehow always find ourselves places where people need help or need to talk and ask for our advice. I don't know how we always seem to have answers for them, other than the fact that we do our best to be good people and share what we have learned. I have always had a love for writing. Ive kept journals for 17 years and have always had a desire to be an author. In everything I do, the most important to me, is that I strive to make a difference for people. I want to inspire people with different aspects of life. We plan to merge our hopes and dreams, as we always have and make the most of it. Working and playing together. We hope to travel the world with our children and give them a good sense of different culture and be grateful and hard working.
We are currently living full-time in our 5th wheel as we are a traveling family now.
HOBBIES & INTERESTS:
Being that I always wanted to help people, I studied nursing. I became a CNA and Phlebotomist when I was 18 and ended up changing my major in college to Psychology and minor in Communications. (again, focused on wanting to help people.) Specifically I was attracted to the study of Positive Psychology; the science of happiness. (My addiction for all things "Happy" would stem from my battle with depression.) I dreamed of attending Harvard and studying it there. So of course I began with college here first ha-ha. No where near Harvard, but maybe one day I'll make that dream a reality.
Those two field choices, though they helped me learn a lot, they never ended up being what I wanted to do as a career. Starting a family changed a lot of my goals. Being a wife and mother re-adjusted my greatest priorities and desires. I'm perfectly okay with that.
I am a fan of minimalism and "quality" vs. "quantity." I strive to simplify things. I love the beach as much as I love being in the mountains. So those are my two happy-places. I enjoy riding, boating, fishing and hunting, water rafting, repelling, hiking and pretty much anything outdoors. I love dance and I appreciate art. I love learning and trying new things. I love exotic food. I am a bit obsessed with Grey's Anatomy. (Which started in my terrible morning-sickness-months while pregnant with Kyla) God blessed me with a funny streak, so making people laugh seems to be a natural result of me just being myself. I know endless amounts of movie quotes and song lyrics that are always in my mind. I am a huge fan of comedy; Robin Williams, Jim Carrey, Lucille Ball, Ana Ferris, Eddie Murphy, Gene Wilder etc. (I think I appreciate them most, with their various voices, rubber-face humor and big eyed expressions. They crack me up) (Starting my own version of modern day "I Love Lucy"... Also an old dream of mine) ha-ha. I love Photography, I love laughter, fitness, weight lifting, yoga and massage therapy and anything supporting the health and wellness of the mind/body.
I certainly believe in using Social Media for good, in using the web for spreading light in a world that too often distracts us from true joy. Regardless of chaos, I know there is always still a calm to be found. Regardless of all the wrong in the world, there is still so much beauty to be noticed and so much good to be mentioned.
XO
Ash
My email for your personal letters or questions - cadalley19@gmail.com
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